This isn't your usual 9 to 5 job. Ok, ok, so I know no one actually works 9 to 5 anymore, more like 8 till 7 but you know what I mean.
I know it would be easier to have a day job where (most of the time) you could get home, kick off your shoes, grab a glass of something yum and hang out with the hubby but that isn't really how this job works!
When you are passionate about something, you inevitably have highs, excitement about what you are doing, heel clicking happy dances about things that go right. One of the biggest thrills of my job are meeting such an amazing array of people who let me into their lives for one of the most important periods of their time together. In truth, I suppose I am just a stone skimming along the surface of their experience enjoying the ride. Really it is a privilege to be there, and I hope I never forget that.
I've been a bit poorley this week, mostly tucked up in bed watching unhealthy amounts of homes under the hammer and bargain hunt. I've mostly been passing my time by being a blog whore though, clicking from blog to blog on my laptop whilst safely tucked up under my duvet, overloading my brain with amazing images from mind blowingly talented people in the wedding industry world.
Whether I meant to do it or not, I fount myself rating myself against others work, their style, their opportunities, their projects. I look at blogs everyday anyway, they are a truly inspiring tool to have around, on a personal and professional level, getting inspiration from others, hearing personal stories and experiences, but something has gone a bit wrong this week with my usual hit of my favourite wedding buzz.
I became a bit jealous. A bit jaded. I found myself starting to envy others work rather than appreciate it. I found myself not feeling like I matched up to some others.
This is bad. The destructive side of self deprecation and not fun at all!!
To try to get my brain back into its happy sunshine meadow full of kittens again, I have decided to do two things this next week.
Firstly, I will be undergoing a brief blog detox. I say brief because actually, blogs are not the problem, no way, it is just the way my brain has wired itself up the last few days. Seriously, I'm sure it has to do with the fact I've been watching too much Jeremy Kyle though a lemsip haze (don't judge me!).
Secondly, I'm going to write my list of goals for 2012 early. Why wait, I don't need the clock hands to strike midnight on the 31st December to kick myself up the ass and start to scribble off some of the things I want to achieve. I think having goals (as geeky as it sounds) is such a god thing, that when you feel like you haven't got to where you wanted, to look at and truly remember how far you have actually come.
No 1 on my list of targets??
Choose a name for my new kitten.... if anyone has any suggestions PLEASE let me know, I have had a complete blank and he is just Titch at the mo (which I just know he is going to grow out of soon ha ha!)